Intentional Ways to Come Back from a Setback
/One of the biggest challenges I see often facing people in their "Second Half" of life is in how to deal with setbacks whether it's from pursuing a new business venture, new job etc. Where taught early in life, from School, parents from a different generation who mean well etc, that setbacks and failures are bad...what I've found in reality is that nothing can be further from the truth. While setbacks and failures are never fun/enjoyable to go thru there are often "golden nuggets" if you look hard enough that can show you your next path to success. Being able to identify the silver lining in the clouds is one thing being able to "bounce back quickly" is another.
To that end the article here by Nick Unsworth of lifeonfire.com is one of the best I've seen in describing how to do that, Enjoy ! Tim H.
Hey, hey!
The road to success is filled with resistance, not just roadblocks that get in your way, but obstacles that can set you back way further than where you started.
If you cannot survive the resistance and the setbacks thrown at you, you may never rise to come back to fulfilling your purpose. To come back from a setback, it takes perseverance and a unique mindset to overcome despite falling flat on your face as I had in my early years in business.
Here are 4 of my top ways to get back up stronger and better than before after failures.
#1… Control What You Can Control
If you have ever failed miserably before, I am confident that you have shamed yourself about what you could have done differently and the thousand other things you could have done better. Over the years, I have learned that one of the most effective ways to come back strong after a failure, is to accept what you cannot control.
As famous author Daniel Handler (pen name Lemony Snicket) explains, “It is difficult when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.” When we overthink about the circumstances that are out of our control, we ended up getting frustrated and stressed out; which is counterintuitive because we become unproductive.
When we control what we can control, we rid ourselves of unnecessary guilt that can paralyze us from focusing on the things that we can control. What you can control is dependent on your attitude and your effort – sometimes those are the only things you may be able to control.
As long as you have a healthy perspective of what you can focus on and create a plan around it, you will be able to move forward in overcoming any setbacks.
#2… Failure Is Not Final
Our mistakes and our failures can be our most significant adversaries when it comes to being on the right path to success. Ultimately, we have to pursue a mindset of failures being door openers or new opportunities for us embrace the fact that failure is not the final destination. If we redefine what failure means to us, we can then realize that rejections and let-downs are signs for us to slow down and notice what is not working.
We often define failures as the end-all for any endeavors. We mistakenly assume that if we fail at something, then we should not continue because we’re either not very good at it or it’s just not something we were meant to pursue. Think of your favorite underdog story or movie, where the main character starts out at the lowest point of their life. What happens next? Do they continue failing? Perhaps, but more than anything, it’s their journey to becoming victorious at the end because they never gave up that makes their stories so great.
The key is to keep moving. Understand the importance of working through challenges and failing forward instead of backward. The next time you are struggling through a tremendous upset, ask yourself, “If I quit now, what am I more likely to quit in the future?”
#3… There’s A Lesson Embedded in Every Setback
Disappointments can be good indications of where we can grow and improve. Instead of seeing rejection as signs to stop and quit, be intentional about utilizing the setback as leverage to making a comeback. Instead of wondering where it all went wrong and what mistakes you made, look for the lessons to make you stronger the next time around.
When we experience a setback, it is much easier for us to get overwhelmed with emotions because we make a personal attachment to the mistake. While it is essential to work through our disappointments emotionally, it is unproductive and unhealthy to wallow in it.
A failure doesn’t always equate to a personal failure. However, it is easy to take the personal blame and internalize the situation. Processing our disappointment and learning from it can come to pass, but self-pitying from your failures can get you stuck.
Allowing your emotions to keep you plateaued is worse than the setback itself. You won’t learn anything from it. Give yourself time and the space to evaluate how you can improve and learn from these insights to try again in your pursuit of your life on fire.
#4… Become Process Oriented
Success does not have a final destination, neither are failures and setbacks. Once upon a time, I too was obsessed with the final destination. I became attached and emotionally vested in one single outcome. Naturally, I failed a lot along the way and have come to learn that failures are not devastating. However, what surprised me was that my goal did not make me feel fulfilled either. Inevitably, it was the process of growth, of learning how to live a life on fire that gave me the satisfaction I was longing for.
Becoming process oriented means that you will be intentional about how you are growing and learning close to what you value and what you are passionate about. With this mindset, it doesn’t matter what the outcome is, you can always bounce back knowing that all your efforts were worthwhile because you developed yourself.
What are your plans to come back from any setbacks you will experience in the future?
Reply back and let me know!
Cheers!
Nick “The Comeback Kid” Unsworth